Stupid Retail Customer 48

Stupid Customer approaches the counter for some help with bras.

Employee

'How can I help?'

Stupid Customer

'I'm looking for 32HH'

Employee

'Ok, is there any particular styles you wanted?'

Stupid Customer

'No...'

Employee 

'Ok... We have about 50.'

Stupid Customer

'Oh good. You didn't have many last time I was in.'

Employee

'We have quite a lot, so, was there and colours you were looking for... Or styles?'

Stupid Customer

'No...'

Employee

'Right...okay'

Tweet

Stupid Supermarket Customer 2

The Stupid Customer approaches the counter with a packet of discounted rolls from the bakery section, the packet is clearly marked £1.99.

Stupid Customer
'Are these rolls £1.99?'

Employee
'Yes...'

Stupid Customer
'Okay...I don't want them'

Employee
'Okay, any reason?'

Stupid Customer
'I thought they were only 99p'

Tweet

Stupid Retail Customer 47

Stupid Customer
'I want to return this pair of jeans. *Holds up Silver Mckenzie Light Wash jean* But I'm going to exchange them for a new pair. These ones didn't fit me right.'

Employee
'Okay.' *Notice's these have been clearly worn and washed*

Stupid Customer
*Comes back with Silver Mckenzie Dark wash Jean*

Employee
'Why were you returning the first pair?'

Stupid Customer
'Because they didn't fit right.'

Employee
'You know, you are essentially exchanging the same pair of jeans just a different wash.'

Stupid Customer
'I don't think so.'

Employee
'You are.'

Stupid Customer
'Whatever.'

Employee
*Does exchange* 'Hope these ones work out for you this time.'

Stupid Customer
'THEY WILL THANKS.'

Tweet

Stupid Retail Customer 46

Stupid Customer
'I'd like to return this item.'

Employee
'Okay. *Asks for information for the return for the government*
Could I have your postal code?'

Stupid Customer
'250'

Employee
'No, your postal code.'

Stupid Customer
'TWO. FIVE. OH.'

Employee
'No, your postal code.'

Stupid Customer
'Ohhhhhhhhhhh, you meant postal code. I thought you said area code. V9G1B8'

Employee
'Alright, I will put it back to debit.'

Stupid Customer
*blank stare* 'I'll take it in cash.'

Employee
'No, I'm sorry, I have to give it to back you on your debit since that's how you paid.'

Stupid Customer
'Well at my work we can give back cash.'

Employee
'Well here we have to put it back on your debit.'

Stupid Customer
'I think thats really stupid.'

Employee
'That's our policy.'

Stupid Customer
'I dont think so. Nobody else does that.'

Employee
'We do here. Do you want it on a giftcard or back to debit.'

Stupid Customer
'I guess DEBIT then.'

Employee
'Alright.'

Stupid Customer
'Whatever.' *leaves store angrily*

Tweet

Stupid Retail Customer 45

Stupid Customer
'So, in your change room, on the floor, I seemed to have spilt my FIVE DOLLAR LATTE.'

Employee
'Oh.'

Stupid Customer
'My FIVE DOLLAR LATTE is all over your fitting room floor.'

Employee
'Alright' *cleans up mess and returns to till where the customer is standing*

Stupid Customer
'Could I get a discount for my latte being spilt?'

Employee
'Um, no. Sorry. We didn't spill your latte, we cannot reimburse you for something we did not cause.'

Stupid Customer
'Fine then.' *leaves store in a hissy fit*

Tweet

Stupid Call Center Customer 7

Stupid Customer
'Hello, I am trying look at this website but it keeps saying I have a virus'

Employee
'Okay...'

Stupid Customer
'It's saying the website has a virus'

Employee
'Okay, what browser are you using?'

Stupid Customer
'The internet'

Tweet

Stupid Coffee Shop Customer 3

Stupid Customer

'I have a question...'

Employee

'Yes?'

Stupid Customer

'The Buffalo Turkey.... Is it made out of buffalo?'

Employee

'No.'

Stupid Customer

*thinks for a moment* 'Does it taste like buffalo?'

Tweet

Stupid Retail Customer 44

Stupid Customer

'Do you have more of these in the back?'

Employee

'No, everything we have is in that bin. I just checked on IMAX for you.'

Stupid Customer

'I think you have more.'

Employee

'We don't. See? It says we have three.'

Stupid Customer

'How much are they?'

Employee

'They're $8.68 each.'

Stupid Customer

'I think they're $7.25.'

Employee

'No, they're $8.68.'

Stupid Customer

'I think they're $8.58.'

Employee

'They're $8.68, ma'am.'

Stupid Customer

'Can I have a discount?'

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Stupid Shoe Shop Customer 8

The shoe shop is extremely busy on a weekend, the Stupid Customer approaches till looking annoyed.

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me! Is there anyone serving in the shoe section?'

Employee
'Madam this is a shoe shop.'

Stupid Customer
'Are you the only person who works here then!?'

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Stupid Supermarket Customer 1

The Stupid Customer approaches the customer service desk full of rage.

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me! Can I speak to your manager!'

Employee
'What is the problem sir!?'

Stupid Customer
'This does not concern you, let me speak to your manager!'

The employee calls over the manager to help with the Stupid Customers problem.

The Manager
'What seems to be the problem?'

Stupid Customer
'I am outraged that I have missed my bus home, thanks to YOU lot!'

The Manager
'How did this happen sir?'

Stupid Customer
'I wanted this wine because it was special offer, however when I went to the check out, the wine wouldn't go through as the deal. Now I have missed my bus home... I am absolutely livid!'

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Stupid Coffee Shop Customer 2

Stupid Customer
'Can I have a tall latte please.'

Employee
'Certainly, can I take your name please'

Stupid Customer
'Erm...I don't think thats necessary'


Employee
'Its okay, just makes the whole process a little easier you know.'

Stupid Customer
'No no. It's okay.'

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Stupid Shoe Shop Customer 7

Stupid Customer is waiting to buy a pair of shoes.

Employee
'That's £44.99 please.'

Stupid Customer
'Can I pay with Euros?'

Employee
'No, I'm afraid not. Only with pounds.'

Stupid Customer
(very slowly) 'Do...you...accept...Euros?'

Employee
'No, only English pounds!'

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Stupid Retail Customer 43

Stupid Customer
'What time does Target close?'

Employee
'Couldn't tell ya, sorry.'

Stupid Customer
*blank stare*

Employee
'...They're just down the street if you want to go and ask them?'

Stupid Customer
'Can you call them for me? I have their number right here.' *takes out phone*

Employee
'Sorry, sir, but we can only call stores within our chain. Why don't you call them?'

Stupid Customer
*blank stare*

Employee
'With your phone?'

Stupid Customer
*sigh* 'Can't you just tell me what time they close?'

Tweet

Stupid Shoe Shop Customer 6

The Stupid Customer approaches the till with some shoes she wants to buy.

Employee
'Hi, is somebody getting the box for you?'

Stupid Customer
A box fee?! Who ever heard of anything so ridiculous? So you're telling me I have to pay for my box? I'm buying the shoes for god's sake!'

Employee
'I actually only asked if somebody was getting the box for you.

Stupid Customer (embarrassed)
'Ohhhhh. Nope.'

Tweet

Stupid Retail Customer 42

Stupid Customer
'Do you sell *particular brand*'

Employee
'We’ve sold out at the minute, but we sell these which are just as good. *gestures*'

Stupid Customer
'No, no it’s got to be this brand, it’s for my father. When will you be getting them back in?'

Employee
'Not for a few weeks, we have to order them in from out of the country.'

Stupid Customer
'Why does it take a few weeks?'

Employee
'…it’s from OVERSEAS. It takes a lot longer than ordering from the UK.'

Stupid Customer
'But I need one. Where can I get one? Will those shops further down sell them?'

Employee
'I’m afraid I don’t know what they sell.'

Stupid Customer
'*very confused look* What?'

Employee
'I only work in this shop, not those. I don’t know what they sell.'

Stupid Customer
'*even more confused* Well…will London sell them? If I go down to London, will I get one there?'

Tweet

Stupid Restaurant Customer 1

Stupid Customer
'I want the desert.'

Employee
'Which one would you like?'

Stupid Customer
'The dessert.'

Employee
'Ma’am, we have an entire menu of desserts. Did you want ice cream, pie, our cheesecake…?'


Stupid Customer
'With Caramel.'

Employee
'I’m sorry but I’m not sure which one you want, can you show me?'

Stupid Customer
'You don’t know which one I’m talking about?!'

Employee
'No, I’m sorry but I’m not a mind reader.'

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Stupid Fast Food Customer 1

Employee 
'Welcome to Chick-fil-A, this is Brittany, how may I serve you?'

There is a sign on the order taker in the drive-thru thing saying we are out of ice cream*

Stupid Customer
'Um, hi, Brittany! I'd like to have a chocolate milkshake, please.'

Employee 
'I'm sorry, but our ice cream machine is broken and we have no more ice cream for the night.'

Stupid Customer turns to others in the car.

Stupid Customer
'hahahaha, okay. Well can I have an "IceDream" cone?'

Employee 
'.....We have no more ice cream for the night.'

Stupid Customer
'But the sign on here says "IceDream".'

Employee 
'That's what we call our ice cream.'

Stupid Customer
'Oh, okay. Well I'd like to have a number 1 with a coke, please.'

Employee 
'I'm also sorry, we don't have regular sandwiches either, but we do have spicy sandwiches.'

Stupid Customer and his entire car: 
'HAHAHAHAHAHA.'

Stupid Customer
'Fine, I'll have a number 3 with a coke, then.'

Employee 
'Anything else?'

Stupid Customer
'Hahahahaha.. No, that's all. Hahahahahahahahahhahha.'

Tweet

Stupid Retail Customer 41

Stupid Customer hands employee a World Market gift card.

Employee
'Sorry, we're not World Market.'

Stupid Customer
'Well, TK Maxx takes Marshall's gift cards!'

Employee
'They're owned by the same people, so they're basically the same store.'

Stupid Customer
'You and World Market are basically the same store!'

Employee
'It's true, we carry a lot of similar items, but we're not owned by the same people.'

Stupid Customer
*blank stare*

Employee
'...So we can't take that gift card.'

Stupid Customer
'Oh, just take it!'

Employee
'We can't. Our systems won't even recognise it. We only accept Pier 1 gift cards.'

Stupid Customer
'Well, I don't have one of those!'

Tweet

Stupid Bank Customer 2

The employee asks security questions to the Stupid Customer to identify the owner of the account

Employee
'Are there any signers on the account with you?'

Stupid Customer
'Yeah, there's one sitting right here'

Tweet

Stupid Pub Customer 10

Stupid Customer approaches the bar holding a packet of crisps.

Employee
'Can I help you...?'

Stupid Customers
'Yes you can...these crisps are far too small.'


Submitted by;
Natalie Preston

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Stupid Pub Customer 9

Employee
'Excuse me, you can't have children at the bar.'

Stupid Customer
'She's not at the bar.'

Employee
*Looks* 'Yes, she is. I can't serve you while you have a child at the bar.'

Stupid Customer
'She's only 2.'

Employee
'Yes, and that's why she's not allowed at the bar.'

Stupid Customer 
'Don't be a prick.'

Tweet

Stupid Retail Customer 40

Stupid Customer
'I noticed that your orange plates are 20% off. Can I get this orange candle for 20% off, too?'

Employee
No, sorry, it’s not on sale.

Stupid Customer
'I know, but since it’s orange and the plates are orange, I was hoping you would give me the discount.'

Employee
'Yeah, no, I can’t do that.'

Stupid Customer
'But I’d really like a discount on them.'

Tweet

Stupid Shoe Shop Customer 6

Stupid Customer
'Do you sell leather cleaner here?'

Employee
'Sorry, we only sell leather and suede protector here. '

The stupid customer takes a moment to think...

Stupid Customer
'Sorry, does that protector work on leather?'

Employee
'Yes, it's for leather and suede.'

Stupid Customer
'I need it for leather.'

Employee
'Yes, that's what I said.'

Stupid Customer
'You said suede though.'

Employee
'Yes. Leather and suede are actually the same thing, just a different finish.'

Stupid Customer
'Oh. Okay. I don't want that.'


Submitted by;
Lauren Potts

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Stupid Call Center Customer 6

Employee
'Good Morning Samsung Electronics how may I help you?'

Stupid Customer
'Oh! Good Morning! Is that not Honeywell Boilers?'

Employee
'No sorry! This is Samsung Electronics...'

Stupid Customer
'Oh dear! I seemed to have called the wrong number! Oh well never mind! Perhaps you can help me?'

Employee
'I'm afraid we don't deal with boilers... we only deal with things like Samsung televisions, phones and computers...'

Stupid Customer
'Yes! But it is an electronics problem with my boiler! So I am sure you can help!'

Employee
'I'm sorry but I'm afraid we cannot help as we are not Honeywell Boilers!'

Stupid Customer
'I want to speak to your manager! After all the Customer should always come first!'

Employee
'That might be so, however, you aren't a Samsung customer.. you are a Honeywell Customer!'

Submitted by;
Teresa Lawler

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Stupid Call Center Customer 5

Employee

‘It seems everything is there. Try refreshing?’

Stupid Customer

‘No, I still can’t see it.’

Employee

‘Are you sure? Try pressing Ctrl+F5 instead, there may be a cached version in your browser.’

Stupid Customer
‘No, I still can’t see it.’

Employee

‘What browser are you using to view the site?’

Stupid Customer
‘I’m looking at a screen grab.’

Tweet

Stupid Camping Shop Customer 3

Stupid Customer has been in the shop for an 1 hour making employee 1 late for lunch. Another mployee starts work and takes over. Stupid Customer eventually decides to buy a jacket, employee breathes sigh of relief, but on the way out...

Stupid Customer
‘Oh what are these boots? (cheaper boots)’

Employee
‘They're a hiking boot. We have them in size 3.5 or 4.5’

Stupid Customer
'I'll try a 4.5'

Stupid Customer and employee talk about what the boots will be used for etc, customer informs employee she is a size 5.

Employee
‘If you're usually a 5 then these shoes will be too small, especially once you have a hiking sock on.’

Stupid Customer
‘I'm trekking in the Himalayas, do you think I need a hiking sock? I was just going to wear normal ones.’


Submitted by;
Josephine Atkinson

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Stupid Hotel Customer 2

Stupid Customer
'I’m looking for a room for tonight. Just one person, one bed.'

Employee
'I have a queen bed available, it’s a smoking room…'

Stupid Customer
'I don’t want a smoking room.'

Employee
'It’s all I have.'

Stupid Customer
'What kind of place doesn’t sell non-smoking rooms?'

Employee
'No no no we sell non smoking rooms but I don’t have any tonight.'

Stupid Customer
'Okay, i’ll just deal with that.'

Employee
'I have that at 124 plus tax.'

Stupid Customer
'I’m not paying 124. I’m not going for the football game i’m just going for work.'

Employee
'That’s the best rate I can offer this weekend and that is a discounted rate.'

Stupid Customer
'But i’m not going for the football game I don’t care about the game.'

Employee
'Well that’s fine but the rate is still going to be 124.'

Stupid Customer
'Buddy you’re not selling any rooms at that price.'

Employee
'I have 8 left, I think i’m doing ok.'

The Stupid Customer hangs up.

Tweet

Stupid Retail Customer 39

The Stupid Customer phones up the shop.

Stupid Customer
'Hi, what time do you guys close?'


Employee
'We close at nine.'

Stupid Customer
'Exactly at nine?'

Employee
'Yep!'


Stupid Customer
'Well, I’m in Oakland, and I don’t get off work til 8:30, so I’m not sure I can get there at 9.'

Employee
'I see…'


Stupid Customer
'So even if I’m there at 9:10, and I’m banging on the door, you won’t let me in?'

Employee
'No. If you make it before 9, that’s good. If not, we open again at 10 tomorrow morning.'

Tweet

Stupid Retail Customer 38

Stupid Customer
'Aren't you guys having a 50% off everything sale?'

Employee
'No, but we put a couple of extra holiday items 20% off.'

Stupid Customer
'The newspaper said you're having a 50% off sale on everything.'

Employee
'Oh? What newspaper?'

Stupid Customer
'I don't remember, but it said you were. I want this 50% off.'

Employee
'Sorry, but I can't approve that. We're not having a 50% off sale.'

Stupid Customer
'But the newspaper said you were.'

Employee
'This is the first I'm hearing about it.'

Stupid Customer
'Then you should read the newspaper more often!'

Employee
'If only I knew which newspaper you speak of.'

The Stupid Customer storms off.

Tweet

Stupid Coffee Shop Customer 1

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me, can I have a medium espresso in a small cup?'

Employee
'So you want two shots of espresso in a small cup?'

Stupid Customer
'Yes!'

Employee
'You know that’s just two shots of straight espresso, right? Is that what you want?'

Stupid Customer
'Yes, that’s what I want.'

Employee
'Would you like any cream in that?'

Stupid Customer
'Just a little milk'

Employee makes medium espresso with a little milk

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me, can I have more milk in this?'

Employee pours a little more milk in

Stupid Customer
'More than that, fill the cup.'

Employee
'Um. Sure. Yeah, okay then.'

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me, I realize it’s because of the milk, but this drink is cold.'

Employee
'I’m sorry, did you want a latte instead?'

Stupid Customer
'That’s what I ordered!'

Employee
'No, actually. You said you wanted espresso, I even clarified it for you.'

Stupid Customer
'Ordering coffee isn’t this hard in LA! I guess terms are different everywhere.'

Employee
'Actually, I’ve ordered coffee in LA. It’s the same thing. They would have given you straight espresso as well. Here’s your latte. Have a nice day.'

Tweet

Stupid Sandwich Shop Customer 1

Stupid Customer
'Is this fresh?'

Employee
'Yes. It was made this morning.'

Stupid Customer
'Is this today’s?'

Employee
'Yes. It was made this morning.'

Stupid Customer
'Are you sure?'

Employee
'Yes. I am sure.'

Tweet

Stupid Retail Customer 37

Stupid Customer
'What’s that Mexican guy’s name who works here?'

Employee
'Um…'

Stupid Customer
'You know, the short one with the ‘stache? He’s the manager.'

Employee
'Oh, he’s Tibetan.'

Stupid Customer
'What?'

Employee
'He’s Tibetan.'

Stupid Customer
'No, the Mexican manager.'

Employee 'I think you’re thinking of Karma.'

Stupid Customer
'NO! He’s a man!'

Employee
'Yes, our manager is a man named Karma and he is from Tibet.'

Stupid Customer
'He’s Mexican.'

Employee
'Ma’am, our manager is Tibetan. I don’t know anyone else who works here who fits the description you gave. Karma is short, has a mustache, and is the manager. Can I help you with something further?'

Stupid Customer
'You must be new.'

Tweet

Stupid Music Shop Customer 1

Stupid Customer
'You got any old school punk?'

Employee
'Nah, we have stuff from the last 5 years or so really.'

Stupid Customer
'So just 80s then yeah...?'

Tweet

Stupid Shoe Shop Customer 5

Stupid Customer approaches till with a pair of shoes which are in the sale.

Employee
'Just so you know, our sale items are non-returnable unless they are faulty.'

Stupid Customer
'Okay, that's fine. Such a great price!'

Employee
'Great, that's 25 pounds please.'

Stupid Customer
'So...when does your sale start?'

Employee
'It started last Thursday.'

Stupid Customer (sounding surprised) 
'Oh really?!'

Employee
'Yes actually, the shoes you're buying are in the sale.'


Submitted by;
Lauren Potts

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Stupid Retail Customer 36

Stupid Customer
'I would like to return this game please.'

Employee
'Ok, what seems to be the problem?'

Stupid Customer
'I thought there was a real monkey in the box.'

In regards to Eye Pet for the PS3


Submitted by;
Mathew Spearey

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Offline for 1 week.

Hello, we can imagine you have arrived here to look for todays new Stupid Customer story, due to today being a Monday. Unfortunately this week there are no posts on today, Wednesday and Friday. This is down to the only person who controls this blog, Matthew Hoare is currently on holiday over in New York.

We apologise you wont be getting your weekly dosage of Stupid Customer stories, and we will get back to our regular schedule from Monday 13th February.

For now of course you can send in your submissions, we are always needing more. To keep this site alive!

submit.stupidcustomers@gmail.com

See you on the 13th February.

SC x

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Stupid Retail Customer 35

Employee is giving a small demonstration to the Stupid Customer about an MP3 player.

Employee
'Here is where all your music will be stored.'

Stupid Customer
'Okay.'

Employee
'And here is your settings menu where you can change numerous things, including changing the language.'

Stupid Customer
'Oh wow! Can you change the langauge to Spanish?'

Employee
'Of course.'

Stupid Customer
'Fantastic, I've always wanted to hear what Mariah Carey would sound like in Spanish.'


Submitted by;
Chris Skeene

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Stupid Retail Customer 34

Stupid Customer approaches employee on the shop floor.

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me, you sold me this MP3 player yesterday.'

Employee
'Yes...okay.'

Stupid Customer
'MP3 players are for music, correct?'

Employee
'Yes, that is correct.'

Stupid Customer
'Well I took it home last night, and there was no music on it for me to listen to.'


Submitted by;
Chris Skeene

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Stupid Retail Customer 33

Employee is processing the Stupid Customers items through the till.

Stupid Customer
'Wait, wait...I've forgotten my voucher.'

Employee
'Okay...'

Stupid Customer
'Well, can I pay for all this now, come back another day with the voucher and refund me the difference?'

Employee
'Sorry, vouchers are not refundable.'

Stupid Customer
'But your manager said we can work this out the other day.'

Employee
'No, sorry you would have to come back later with the voucher, if you want to purchase all this today.'

Stupid Customer (Angry)
'Oh really!? So you are organising my day for me now are you?!'

Tweet

Stupid Retail Customer 32

Stupid Customer walks into the shop and approaches the counter.

Stupid Customer
'Good morning, may I have look around your shop?'

Employee
'Certainly madam, we are a shop after all'


Submitted by;
Theresa Hargreaves

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Stupid Shoe Shop Customer 4

Stupid Customer
'Hi, can I get these shoes in a size 10 please?'

Employee
'Sure, of course. do you want to try them on?'

Stupid Customer
'Oh, I'm French.'

Employee
'Erm okay, would you like to try the shoes on?'

Stupid Customer
'I'm French.'

Employee
'Yes...but would you like to try those shoes on?'

Stupid Customer
'Yes.'


Submitted by;
Lauren Potts

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Stupid Retail Customer 31

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me do you sell gift vouchers?'

Employee
'Yes we do madame.'

Stupid Customer
'Fantastic, and can male and females use them. Or is it just females?'


Employee (puzzled)
'Erm...yes both!'

Stiupid Customer
Excellent, I'll have £40 worth please!'

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Stupid Pub Customer 8

Stupid Customer approaches the bar, having previously drank a couple of Pinot spritzers. 

Stupid Customer
'May I have a small glass of Pinot please.'

Employee

'Would you like that as a spritzer, madame?'

Stupid Customer

'No, just as it is.'

After the Stupid Customer receives her 175ml glass of Pinot.

Stupid Customer

'Oh, can I have this in a bigger glass with some ice and soda?'

Employee

'So you want a spritzer then, like I said'

Stupid Customer

'Oh, go on then'

Submitted by;

Thomas Greenway

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Stupid Camping Customer 2

Stupid Customer
'Hi there, I'm looking to purchase a compass'

The employee takes the Stupid Customer to the selection of compasses.


Stupid Customer
'Thank you, now...how do you actually work them?

Employee
'Well the arrow always points north, like you can see here...'

Interrupting Stupid Customer
'But where are we on the compass?'

Employee
'No no, it just shows you where North is....see look.'

Stupid Customer
'But, I want the compass that shows you where I am!'

Employee explains that the compass can't show this, then goes on futher to suggest she needs a GPS Reader. The Stupid Customer is determined she needs a compass and storms out the shop.



Submitted by;
Adrian Mortimer

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Stupid Retail Customer 30

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me, what waist size would these jogging bottoms be?'

Employee
'These are a Large so about a 34" waist sir.'

Stupid Customer
'Excellent, I have a 34" waist. So what size would I need?'


Submitted By;
Folarin Fadairo

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Stupid Book Shop Customer 3

**University Book Shop

Stupid (Law Student) Customer
'I'm looking for a book. I don't know the title or the author, but it's got a picture of a ladder on the front. Do pictures come up on your database?'

The employee is stood literally speechless.

The Stupid (Law Student) Customer returns with more information the following day. The book in question actually had a cat on the cover.



Submitted by;
Michael Ritchie

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Stupid Book Shop Customer 2

**University Book Shop

Stupid Customer
'Do you know what books are on my reading list?'

Employee
'We don't carry the actual reading lists here, but we've been selling through, so I might know. What subject is it for?'

Stupid Customer
'I'm not sure. English, I think.'


Submitted by;
Michael Ritchie

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Stupid Book Shop Customer 1

**University Book Shop

Stupid Customer
'Can you do a search on a book for me?'

Employee
'Sure, do you have the title?'

Stupid Customer
'Um, no, but I know the author'

Employee
'Ok, what's his name?'

Stupid Customer
'Jones.'

Employee
'Um right... that's a pretty common name. Do you know what the textbook is on?'

Stupid Customer
'No. Can you not find it?'

Employee
'I can put it in, but it'll give me about a thousand results, so there's little point.'


Submitted by;
Michael Ritchie

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Stupid Retail Customer 29

Stupid Customer 'Whats the biggest size your mens clothes are available in?'

Employee
'They are available in XXL.'

Stupid Customer
'GREAT! Where can I find the section of clothes for these sizes?'

Employee
'There are available throughout the range.'

Stupid Customer 
'Can you show me the XXL's?'

Employee
'Well...there are all over the store'

Stupid Customer
'Oh right....!'

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Stupid Retail Customer 28

Stupid Customer
'Is these the only sizes you have on the shop floor?'

Employee
'No no, we have more sizes in the stock room if needed.'

Stupid Customer
'Oh right... wheres that I'll go have a look.'

Employee
'No....you wait here I'll go look.'

Stupid Customer 
'OH! I get you!'

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Stupid Call Center Customer 4

The employee is trying to troubleshoot a Stupid Customers computer over the phone.

Employee
'Can you press the F8 key for me.'

The Stupid Customer stops talking for about 30 seconds.

Stupid Customer
'How do you spell that?'


Submitted by;
Quinnton Mckinnon

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