Stupid Coffee Shop Customer 6

Stupid Customer
'You guys close in a little bit don't you?'

Employee
'Yes, 10 minutes'

Stupid Customer
'Oh, I feel so bad now. Can I have a large Ice Decaf Americano?'

Employee
'Ok, you total is £*.**'

Stupid Customer
'Oh! And can I get 3 cupcakes'

Employee
'Sure, are you aware of our promo? 2 for £5?'

Stupid Customer
'Oh no, can I just pay for the cupcakes and my friend can pay for the drinks?'

Employee
'Sure....'

Stupid Customer
'Thanks!'

Stupid Customer leaves shop, whilst another 5 customers attempt to enter and place orders.

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Stupid Coffee Shop Customer 4

Stupid Customer

'Do you use instant coffee or real coffee?'

The employee instantly stares blankly at the Stupid Customer

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Stupid Coffee Shop Customer 2

Stupid Customer
'Can I have a tall latte please.'

Employee
'Certainly, can I take your name please'

Stupid Customer
'Erm...I don't think thats necessary'


Employee
'Its okay, just makes the whole process a little easier you know.'

Stupid Customer
'No no. It's okay.'

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Stupid Coffee Shop Customer 1

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me, can I have a medium espresso in a small cup?'

Employee
'So you want two shots of espresso in a small cup?'

Stupid Customer
'Yes!'

Employee
'You know that’s just two shots of straight espresso, right? Is that what you want?'

Stupid Customer
'Yes, that’s what I want.'

Employee
'Would you like any cream in that?'

Stupid Customer
'Just a little milk'

Employee makes medium espresso with a little milk

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me, can I have more milk in this?'

Employee pours a little more milk in

Stupid Customer
'More than that, fill the cup.'

Employee
'Um. Sure. Yeah, okay then.'

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me, I realize it’s because of the milk, but this drink is cold.'

Employee
'I’m sorry, did you want a latte instead?'

Stupid Customer
'That’s what I ordered!'

Employee
'No, actually. You said you wanted espresso, I even clarified it for you.'

Stupid Customer
'Ordering coffee isn’t this hard in LA! I guess terms are different everywhere.'

Employee
'Actually, I’ve ordered coffee in LA. It’s the same thing. They would have given you straight espresso as well. Here’s your latte. Have a nice day.'

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Stupid Retail Customer 34

Stupid Customer approaches employee on the shop floor.

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me, you sold me this MP3 player yesterday.'

Employee
'Yes...okay.'

Stupid Customer
'MP3 players are for music, correct?'

Employee
'Yes, that is correct.'

Stupid Customer
'Well I took it home last night, and there was no music on it for me to listen to.'


Submitted by;
Chris Skeene

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Stupid Coffee Shop Customer

Stupid customer approaches the counter and orders an Espresso. The employee goes ahead with the order and hands over the shot of espresso.

Stupid Customer
'What is this?'

Employee
'Its an espresso sir...'

Stupid Customer
'Really? Wheres the rest of it?'

Employee
'Sir, an espresso is a strongly concentrated shot of coffee with no milk.'

Stupid Customer
'Oh really, no thats not what I wanted.'

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