Stupid Web Design Customer 1

Employee 

'So, let me get this straight. You want your insurance website to look like the Walt Disney World site?'

Stupid Customer

'Yes, because the Walt Disney World site seems so happy and fun. When people visit our site, they should feel like buying insurance is fun!'

Employee

'Um, okay...so is there anything else you’d like?'

(Stupid Customer thinks for a few moments)

Stupid Customer

'Rollercoasters! I like rollercoasters!'

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Stupid Toy Shop Customer 1

Stupid Customer
'Do you have any games for children?'

Employee
'Certainly, what type of games are you looking for?'

Stupid Customer
'Well, I don't know...'

Employee
'Okay, so we have board games, video games, outdoor games...quite a lot of varieties'

Stupid Customer
'No, I don't think so. I shall look myself, thank you'

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Stupid Retail Customer 48

Stupid Customer approaches the counter for some help with bras.

Employee

'How can I help?'

Stupid Customer

'I'm looking for 32HH'

Employee

'Ok, is there any particular styles you wanted?'

Stupid Customer

'No...'

Employee 

'Ok... We have about 50.'

Stupid Customer

'Oh good. You didn't have many last time I was in.'

Employee

'We have quite a lot, so, was there and colours you were looking for... Or styles?'

Stupid Customer

'No...'

Employee

'Right...okay'

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Stupid Retail Customer 46

Stupid Customer
'I'd like to return this item.'

Employee
'Okay. *Asks for information for the return for the government*
Could I have your postal code?'

Stupid Customer
'250'

Employee
'No, your postal code.'

Stupid Customer
'TWO. FIVE. OH.'

Employee
'No, your postal code.'

Stupid Customer
'Ohhhhhhhhhhh, you meant postal code. I thought you said area code. V9G1B8'

Employee
'Alright, I will put it back to debit.'

Stupid Customer
*blank stare* 'I'll take it in cash.'

Employee
'No, I'm sorry, I have to give it to back you on your debit since that's how you paid.'

Stupid Customer
'Well at my work we can give back cash.'

Employee
'Well here we have to put it back on your debit.'

Stupid Customer
'I think thats really stupid.'

Employee
'That's our policy.'

Stupid Customer
'I dont think so. Nobody else does that.'

Employee
'We do here. Do you want it on a giftcard or back to debit.'

Stupid Customer
'I guess DEBIT then.'

Employee
'Alright.'

Stupid Customer
'Whatever.' *leaves store angrily*

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Stupid Shoe Shop Customer 6

Stupid Customer
'Do you sell leather cleaner here?'

Employee
'Sorry, we only sell leather and suede protector here. '

The stupid customer takes a moment to think...

Stupid Customer
'Sorry, does that protector work on leather?'

Employee
'Yes, it's for leather and suede.'

Stupid Customer
'I need it for leather.'

Employee
'Yes, that's what I said.'

Stupid Customer
'You said suede though.'

Employee
'Yes. Leather and suede are actually the same thing, just a different finish.'

Stupid Customer
'Oh. Okay. I don't want that.'


Submitted by;
Lauren Potts

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Stupid Call Center Customer 6

Employee
'Good Morning Samsung Electronics how may I help you?'

Stupid Customer
'Oh! Good Morning! Is that not Honeywell Boilers?'

Employee
'No sorry! This is Samsung Electronics...'

Stupid Customer
'Oh dear! I seemed to have called the wrong number! Oh well never mind! Perhaps you can help me?'

Employee
'I'm afraid we don't deal with boilers... we only deal with things like Samsung televisions, phones and computers...'

Stupid Customer
'Yes! But it is an electronics problem with my boiler! So I am sure you can help!'

Employee
'I'm sorry but I'm afraid we cannot help as we are not Honeywell Boilers!'

Stupid Customer
'I want to speak to your manager! After all the Customer should always come first!'

Employee
'That might be so, however, you aren't a Samsung customer.. you are a Honeywell Customer!'

Submitted by;
Teresa Lawler

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Stupid Retail Customer 39

The Stupid Customer phones up the shop.

Stupid Customer
'Hi, what time do you guys close?'


Employee
'We close at nine.'

Stupid Customer
'Exactly at nine?'

Employee
'Yep!'


Stupid Customer
'Well, I’m in Oakland, and I don’t get off work til 8:30, so I’m not sure I can get there at 9.'

Employee
'I see…'


Stupid Customer
'So even if I’m there at 9:10, and I’m banging on the door, you won’t let me in?'

Employee
'No. If you make it before 9, that’s good. If not, we open again at 10 tomorrow morning.'

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Stupid Sandwich Shop Customer 1

Stupid Customer
'Is this fresh?'

Employee
'Yes. It was made this morning.'

Stupid Customer
'Is this today’s?'

Employee
'Yes. It was made this morning.'

Stupid Customer
'Are you sure?'

Employee
'Yes. I am sure.'

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Stupid Retail Customer 37

Stupid Customer
'What’s that Mexican guy’s name who works here?'

Employee
'Um…'

Stupid Customer
'You know, the short one with the ‘stache? He’s the manager.'

Employee
'Oh, he’s Tibetan.'

Stupid Customer
'What?'

Employee
'He’s Tibetan.'

Stupid Customer
'No, the Mexican manager.'

Employee 'I think you’re thinking of Karma.'

Stupid Customer
'NO! He’s a man!'

Employee
'Yes, our manager is a man named Karma and he is from Tibet.'

Stupid Customer
'He’s Mexican.'

Employee
'Ma’am, our manager is Tibetan. I don’t know anyone else who works here who fits the description you gave. Karma is short, has a mustache, and is the manager. Can I help you with something further?'

Stupid Customer
'You must be new.'

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Stupid Call Center Customer 4

The employee is trying to troubleshoot a Stupid Customers computer over the phone.

Employee
'Can you press the F8 key for me.'

The Stupid Customer stops talking for about 30 seconds.

Stupid Customer
'How do you spell that?'


Submitted by;
Quinnton Mckinnon

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Stupid Retail Customer 21

Employee is tidying up the store when the stupid customer walks over.

Stupid Customer 
'Excuse me, how much is this hoody it hasn't got a price tag.'

Employee walks over to the rest of the hoodies and tells the stupid customer the price.

Stupid Customer 
'Thank you'

Employee walks back to his task, only to be called over the stupid customer.

Stupid Customer
'Can you get me a large!'

Employee walks back over and finds a large amongst the rail and hands it to the stupid customer. Again the stupid customer says 'thank you' and the employee walks back to his position. Only to be called over for a second time.

Stupid Customer
'Can I get this one in white instead. I can't reach for it up there.'

Employee recaches up for the hoody and passes down one, making sure its a large. This time employee waits expecting for more requests.

Stupid Customer
'Second thoughts, put that white one back. I'm going to stick to my original decision, thank you. And these are all the same price?'

Employee
'Yes'

Stupid Customer
'What about the white one?'

Employee
'Yes'

Stupid Customer
'When do your sales start?'

Employee
'We don't have sales'

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Stupid Retail Customer 14

Stupid Customer walks up to till to purchase his items.

Employee 
'Just these two then sir...?'

Stupid Customer 
'Sorry?'

Employee 
'Just these two items?'

Stupid Customer 
'Sorry!?'

Employee
'Don't worry its a rhetorical question'

Employee carries on at the till with conversation.

Employee
'So how has your day been so far?

Stupid Customer 
'Errr with cash please...!'

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