Stupid Pub Customer 13

Stupid Customer
'Hello, how much is your venison roast?'

The employee replies with the price list.

Stupid Customer
'Core, that's a bit deer!'

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Stupid Pub Customer 12

Stupid Customer phones up the pub, and the employee answers. 

Stupid customer

'Hi, yeah I was just there at your pub a few minutes ago'

Stupid Customer stops talking, and doesn't carry on his phone call.

Employee

'Ok...and how could I help you?'

Stupid Customer

'I think I left something there. What can I do?'

Stupid Customer stops in silence again.

Employee

'Um...you could come back and get it?'

Stupid Customer 

'Oh ok, thanks'

Stupid Customer hangs up. 

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Stupid Pub Customer 11

Stupid Customer
'Are you still serving lunch?'

Employee looks at the clock, that is displaying 10 past 4.

Employee
'No, sorry. Lunch ends at 4 o clock'

Stupid Customer
'Give me the lunch menu anyway!'

Employee
'I'm sorry but you're too late for lunch!'

The Stupid Customer moves over to go and sit himself down at a table.

Stupid Customer
'I'm only 10 minutes late! This is why this place is empty! You need us.'

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Stupid Pub Customer 10

Stupid Customer approaches the bar holding a packet of crisps.

Employee
'Can I help you...?'

Stupid Customers
'Yes you can...these crisps are far too small.'


Submitted by;
Natalie Preston

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Stupid Pub Customer 9

Employee
'Excuse me, you can't have children at the bar.'

Stupid Customer
'She's not at the bar.'

Employee
*Looks* 'Yes, she is. I can't serve you while you have a child at the bar.'

Stupid Customer
'She's only 2.'

Employee
'Yes, and that's why she's not allowed at the bar.'

Stupid Customer 
'Don't be a prick.'

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Stupid Pub Customer 8

Stupid Customer approaches the bar, having previously drank a couple of Pinot spritzers. 

Stupid Customer
'May I have a small glass of Pinot please.'

Employee

'Would you like that as a spritzer, madame?'

Stupid Customer

'No, just as it is.'

After the Stupid Customer receives her 175ml glass of Pinot.

Stupid Customer

'Oh, can I have this in a bigger glass with some ice and soda?'

Employee

'So you want a spritzer then, like I said'

Stupid Customer

'Oh, go on then'

Submitted by;

Thomas Greenway

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Stupid Pub Customer 7

Stupid Customer
‘Can I have a coke please?’

Employee
‘Coca cola in a bottle or Pepsi on draught?’

Stupid Customer
‘Whats the difference?’

Employee
‘One is coca cola, one is Pepsi’


Submitted by;
Nat Preston

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Stupid Pub Customer 6

Stupid Customers
'can I have a burger without garlic?'

Employee
'I'm afraid the burger mix is already pre made and garlic is in it'

Stupid Customer
'Oh.. Can you not extract the little garlic bits?'

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Stupid Pub Customer 5

Employee
'How was your fish pie sir?'

Stupid Customer
'I didnt like it at all. I didn't realize it had fish in it and I don't eat fish'

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Stupid Pub Customer 4

Stupid Customer
'I would like the rum & raisin ice-cream, but my 3 year old daughter is going to share so could you take the rum out please?'

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Stupid Pub Customer 3

Stupid customers are having a wedding reception in a bar. The stupid groom customer is tanked up on alcohol. He climbs onto the stage to start a performance.

He ends up getting tangled in wires, falls off the stage and breaks his wrist.

The stupid bride builds up rage, and storms out the bar.

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Stupid Pub Customer 2

Stupid customer purchases a club sandwich.

The sandwich arrives at the stupid customers table, with a cocktail stick poking out the top holding the sandwich together. The stupid customer doesn't realise, bites into the sandwich making the cocktail stick pierce through his bottom lip.

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Stupid Pub Customer 1

Stupid customer approaches the bar and asks for a glass of Pinot, a glass of Grigio and a white wine.

Pinot grigio is a white wine.

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