Stupid Music Shop Customer 2

The employee is restocking the guitars. 

Stupid Customer

'Excuse me can I ask you a question?'

Employee

'Of course you can. It is what I am here for.'

Stupid Customer

'Do your guitars work like real guitars?'

Employee
'What do you mean?'

Stupid Customer
'Are they like real guitars?'

 

Employee
*Looking very confused* 'Well, they have strings like a "real" guitar. They have frets like a "real" guitar. You tune them like a "real" guitar. They are smaller because they are practice guitars but yes, I would like to conclude that they are real guitars.'

Stupid Customer
'Oh that is good!'

The Stupid Customer picks up a guitar, and walks over to the counter to purchase the item.

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Stupid Book Shop Customer 5

Stupid Customer
'Hi. I need a threesis.'

Employee
'Pardon, a what??'

Stupid Customer

'You know a threesis. It has other words that mean the same as the word you look up.'

Employee

Oh right…do you mean a thesaurus?'

Stupid Customer 

'No, you idiot!! That’s a dinosaur! I need a threesis!'

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Stupid Restaurant Customer 6

Stupid Customer

'How big are your pizzas?'

Employee

'They are 10 inch pizzas, sir.'

Stupid Customer

'Well how big is 10 inches?'

Before the employee can answer the Stupid Customer's wife interrupts.

Stupid Customer's Wife

'You wouldn’t know anything about 10 inches, dear.'

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Stupid Pub Customer 12

Stupid Customer phones up the pub, and the employee answers. 

Stupid customer

'Hi, yeah I was just there at your pub a few minutes ago'

Stupid Customer stops talking, and doesn't carry on his phone call.

Employee

'Ok...and how could I help you?'

Stupid Customer

'I think I left something there. What can I do?'

Stupid Customer stops in silence again.

Employee

'Um...you could come back and get it?'

Stupid Customer 

'Oh ok, thanks'

Stupid Customer hangs up. 

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Stupid Retail Customer 53

Stupid Customer

(reads employees  name tag) 'Jade. That's a pretty name.'

Employee

'Thank you.'

Stupid Customer

'Where did you get it?'

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Stupid Cinema Customer 1

The employees are experience a rush of popcorn orders, one employee is in the middle of the Stupid Customers order.

Employee
'Okay, a medium popcorn is £*.**.'

Stupid Customer hand's the employee his money.

Stupid Customer

'Yeah, and would you get the fresh stuff for me?'

Employee

'Ahhh, sure. All of it’s fresh though. We’re putting in batch after batch.'

Stupid Customer

'No, I want the fresh stuff. Don’t fill my bag until the new one is popped.'

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Stupid Restaurant Customer 5

The employee is restocking the restaurant toilets, when the Stupid Customer walks in.

Employee
'I’m restocking this side with toilet paper, but that side’s all good to go.'

Employee points to side of the toilets that are still yet to be restocked.

Stupid Customers makes an annoyed sound and walks into the cubicle the employee was about to change. Employee stand's there and hears the Stupid Customer rolling the empty dispenser. When the Stupid Customer is done, she comes back out.

Stupid Customer
(With Anger) 'There was no toilet paper in that stall!'

Employee
'Yep...!'

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Stupid Restaurant Customer 4

Stupid Customer

'Do you guys sell biscuits and gravy?'

Employee

'No sir, we only sell crepes and paninis here. I'm sorry'

Stupid Customer

'Okay, well can i have an omelet?'

Employee

'Oh, im sorry. we actually stop selling breakfast at 11!' (it's 1:30)

Stupid Customer

'Well, can i have an omelet?'

Stupid Customer's daughter 

'Dad, they stop selling breakfast at 11.'

Stupid Customer

'Well im some countries, an omelet is considered lunch, and in others, it's a dinner!'

Employee

'Sir, i'm sorry but we can't do eggs after 11.'

Stupid Customer

'Okay, well can i have a coffee then?'

Employee

'Sure, can i get your name?'

Stupid Customer

'Disappointed.'

Employee 

'Alllllllright, can i get you anything else today?'

Stupid Customer

'Yeah, i hope you can redeem yourself next time. HA HA.'

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Stupid Call Center Customer 8

Employee
'....okay can I take your address for delivery'

Stupid Customer tells the employee her delivery address.

Employee
'You said your apartment number was F, like Frank?'

Stupid Customer
'No, it's 'F', as in Frog!'

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Stupid Body Piercing Customer 1

Stupid Customer
'I'd like to get my tongue pierced.'

Employee
'How old are you?'

Stupid Customer
'17. This is my mom.' (points at person next to her).

Employee
'Okay I need IDs from both of you.' (they give me the IDs and I check the ages.)

Employee
'Umm... This says your mom was born in 1988.'

Stupid Customer
'Yea she had me young.'

Employee
'She had you when she was 7?'

Stupid Customer
'No, of course not.'

Employee
'Then this isn't your mom. I need your parent present.'

Stupid Customer
'But this is my mom. I told you she had me young.'

Employee
'You were born in 1995. Your "mom" was born in 1988 correct?'

Stupid Customer
'Yes, I don't see what the issue is.'

Employee
'Well the issue is how this isn't your mom. Simple math shows that if she was your mom, she would have had to have given birth to you when she was 7. We are not going to pierce you at all. You can leave.'

Stupid Customer
'I still don't understand what the issue is and why you won't pierce me.'

Employee
'Because you are lying. This is not your mom.'

Stupid Customer
'Well if you don't pierce me, then I will never come here again.'

Employee
'Okay cool. Goodbye.'

Stupid Customer
'(as she is leaving) This is bullshit, I don't understand why he didn't believe it, we have the same last name.'

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