Who wore it better, Kim or?

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God.

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1 day at a time...

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Donald Trump's Campaign Team

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Clogged Sink

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Exposure...

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Stupid Fast Food Customer 4

Stupid Customers walk into the fast food restaurant and order their food.

Employee
'Would you like that as original or hot and spicy?'

Stupid Customer
'Yes'

Employee
'Sorry, I said original OR hot and spicy?'

Stupid Customer 
'Yes!!'

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Stupid Call Center Customer 10

Stupid Customer
'Good afternoon, I was phoning with a quick query. What times does the internet close?'

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Stupid Restaurant Customer 8

Employee

'Are you ready to order?'

Stupid Customer

'Yes, I'd like your grilled chicken club - but plain, please. Is that possible? To get just a plain grilled chicken sandwich?'

Employee

'Absolutely. And would you like fries or a salad with that?'

Stupid Customer

'Salad, please. With ranch.'

Employee (to next customer)

'And for you, sir? What will you be having today?'

Stupid Customer

'Um! Wait - I'm not done yet. Do you have swiss cheese? Can I have swiss on my chicken sandwich?'

Employee

'.... Yes. So... you want just plain grilled chicken with swiss cheese; is that correct?'

Stupid Customer

'Yea. And, you know, the lettuce and tomatoes and onions.'

Employee

'So when you say you'd like a "plain" grilled chicken sandwich you mean....?'

Stupid Customer

'Oh, you know - I don't want the mayo and all that other stuff.'

Employee

'Bacon?'

Stupid Customer

'Yeah.'

Employee

'Okay, so, just to confirm, you'd like a grilled chicken club sandwich with no mayo or bacon.'

Stupid Customer

'Yes.'

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Stupid Call Center Customer 9

Stupid Customer
'I just placed an order on your website, like 2 minutes ago, I need to check on something.'

Employee
'Okay, sometimes it can take up to 10 minutes for it to show in our system, so I can't see it just yet, but what was your question about the order?'

Stupid Customer
'What time is it there?'

Employee
'..It's almost 7:30'

Stupid Customer
'So you're like, three hours ahead of me. If it was three ago and you said it takes 10 minutes you should be able to see it now. Does that make sense?'

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Stupid Fast Food Customer 2

Customer approaches the counter, with a confused look on his face.

Employee
'Afternoon, what can I get you'

Stupid Customer
'Hello yes, just an enquiry first. Do you use fake chicken here...?'

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Stupid Music Shop Customer 2

The employee is restocking the guitars. 

Stupid Customer

'Excuse me can I ask you a question?'

Employee

'Of course you can. It is what I am here for.'

Stupid Customer

'Do your guitars work like real guitars?'

Employee
'What do you mean?'

Stupid Customer
'Are they like real guitars?'

 

Employee
*Looking very confused* 'Well, they have strings like a "real" guitar. They have frets like a "real" guitar. You tune them like a "real" guitar. They are smaller because they are practice guitars but yes, I would like to conclude that they are real guitars.'

Stupid Customer
'Oh that is good!'

The Stupid Customer picks up a guitar, and walks over to the counter to purchase the item.

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Stupid Book Shop Customer 5

Stupid Customer
'Hi. I need a threesis.'

Employee
'Pardon, a what??'

Stupid Customer

'You know a threesis. It has other words that mean the same as the word you look up.'

Employee

Oh right…do you mean a thesaurus?'

Stupid Customer 

'No, you idiot!! That’s a dinosaur! I need a threesis!'

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Stupid Pub Customer 12

Stupid Customer phones up the pub, and the employee answers. 

Stupid customer

'Hi, yeah I was just there at your pub a few minutes ago'

Stupid Customer stops talking, and doesn't carry on his phone call.

Employee

'Ok...and how could I help you?'

Stupid Customer

'I think I left something there. What can I do?'

Stupid Customer stops in silence again.

Employee

'Um...you could come back and get it?'

Stupid Customer 

'Oh ok, thanks'

Stupid Customer hangs up. 

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Stupid Retail Customer 53

Stupid Customer

(reads employees  name tag) 'Jade. That's a pretty name.'

Employee

'Thank you.'

Stupid Customer

'Where did you get it?'

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Stupid Cinema Customer 1

The employees are experience a rush of popcorn orders, one employee is in the middle of the Stupid Customers order.

Employee
'Okay, a medium popcorn is £*.**.'

Stupid Customer hand's the employee his money.

Stupid Customer

'Yeah, and would you get the fresh stuff for me?'

Employee

'Ahhh, sure. All of it’s fresh though. We’re putting in batch after batch.'

Stupid Customer

'No, I want the fresh stuff. Don’t fill my bag until the new one is popped.'

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Stupid Restaurant Customer 5

The employee is restocking the restaurant toilets, when the Stupid Customer walks in.

Employee
'I’m restocking this side with toilet paper, but that side’s all good to go.'

Employee points to side of the toilets that are still yet to be restocked.

Stupid Customers makes an annoyed sound and walks into the cubicle the employee was about to change. Employee stand's there and hears the Stupid Customer rolling the empty dispenser. When the Stupid Customer is done, she comes back out.

Stupid Customer
(With Anger) 'There was no toilet paper in that stall!'

Employee
'Yep...!'

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Stupid Body Piercing Customer 1

Stupid Customer
'I'd like to get my tongue pierced.'

Employee
'How old are you?'

Stupid Customer
'17. This is my mom.' (points at person next to her).

Employee
'Okay I need IDs from both of you.' (they give me the IDs and I check the ages.)

Employee
'Umm... This says your mom was born in 1988.'

Stupid Customer
'Yea she had me young.'

Employee
'She had you when she was 7?'

Stupid Customer
'No, of course not.'

Employee
'Then this isn't your mom. I need your parent present.'

Stupid Customer
'But this is my mom. I told you she had me young.'

Employee
'You were born in 1995. Your "mom" was born in 1988 correct?'

Stupid Customer
'Yes, I don't see what the issue is.'

Employee
'Well the issue is how this isn't your mom. Simple math shows that if she was your mom, she would have had to have given birth to you when she was 7. We are not going to pierce you at all. You can leave.'

Stupid Customer
'I still don't understand what the issue is and why you won't pierce me.'

Employee
'Because you are lying. This is not your mom.'

Stupid Customer
'Well if you don't pierce me, then I will never come here again.'

Employee
'Okay cool. Goodbye.'

Stupid Customer
'(as she is leaving) This is bullshit, I don't understand why he didn't believe it, we have the same last name.'

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Stupid Retail Customer 52

Stupid customer

*shouting* 'Excuse me, the phone credit you just sold me has already been used!'

Employee
'Right.. I wouldn't have thought that's possible' 

The employee only served the Stupid Customer 5 minutes ago.

Stupid customer

*still shouting* 'I want the manager, I want the credit replaced!'

The employee calls for the manager.

Stupid customer

'Hurry up, I ned to make an urgent call!'

Employee offers the Stupid Customer the store phone to make the urgent call.

Stupid customer

'I don't want your **** phone!'

Stupid Customer pulls mobile phone out and makes the call.

Employee

'You said the phone credit didn't go through?'

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Stupid Retail Customer 51

Stupid Customer
'I would like to buy one of these Wii things'

Employee

'I'm sorry we don't have any in stock.'

Stupid Customer
'But you're advertising them!'

Employee
'Well no we have a huge display saying 'available soon', just to let people know that we do stock them and they'll be on sale as soon as possible.'

Stupid Customer
'I think that's disgusting'

Employee

'Sorry, it's always like this at Christmas. We're doing our best to get more stock in so pop back later in the week just in case - but it's looking unlikely at the moment.'

Stupid Customer
'But you're advertising all these games that my kids won't be able to play.'

Employee
'We've got plenty of games and accessories in but we just can't get the consoles in fast enough - honestly we sold our allocation months ago, it's impossible for Nintendo to make them any faster.'

Stupid Customer
'But what if you weren't allowed to buy CD players anymore but shops still advertised CDs? it's terrible to treat customers like that.'

Employee
'Um, we have to still advertise the games because thousands of people own the Wii and will want to buy some games.'

Stupid Customer

'No what I'm saying is that you're basically not letting people buy CD players but still shoving CDs in their faces and I think that's disgusting.'

Employee

'No not really because even if there was a shortage of CD players, millions of people already own them and will buy CDs.'

Stupid Customer

'I'll be writing to complain. This isn't fair at all.'

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