The next billionaire

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Stupid Call Center Customer 11

Employee

'Thank you for calling the credit card department. How can I help you today?'

Stupid Customer

'Yes, I wanted to see when I will receive my new credit card.'

Employee

'My pleasure, can I ask some security questions to see your application'

The Stupid Customer provides answers to her security questions, and after checking there are no credits in process for the Stupid Customer. Checking further the employee discovers the Stupid Customer has already has a card with the bank and has maxed out the credit card with a £500 limit. 

Employee

'I do see that you already have an account with us. When did you apply for a second card?'

Stupid Customer

'I didn't apply, but I already used all the money from the first card. I was just wondering when you would be another?!'

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Stupid Retail Customer 59

Employee
'That will be £40 for both, please'

Stupid Customer
'But I was in here a couple of days ago and they were on sale.'

Employee
'Yes, that was a weekend sale we had going on, it's over now.'

Stupid Customer
'But that was only a couple of days ago...

Employee
'...right'

Stupid Customer
'So why is the price different now?'

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Stupid Retail Customer 58

Stupid Customer swipes their credit card through the reader, and presses cancel.

Employee
'Would you mind swiping again? You canceled your transaction.

Stupid Customer
'It's not going to charge twice, right?'

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Stupid Retail Customer 49

The Stupid Customer’s total is £11.99, the Stupid Customer hands the employee £21.

Employee
'Miss, this is £21, you’d just get the pound back. Did you mean to give me £22 for a ten back?

Stupid Customer
'No, because my order is £11 pounds!'

Employee 
'And 99 pence…'

Stupid Customer
'And?'

Employee stares at the Stupid Customer

Stupid Customer
'Ugh, just give me the £1 back then.'

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Stupid Retail Customer 47

Stupid Customer
'I want to return this pair of jeans. *Holds up Silver Mckenzie Light Wash jean* But I'm going to exchange them for a new pair. These ones didn't fit me right.'

Employee
'Okay.' *Notice's these have been clearly worn and washed*

Stupid Customer
*Comes back with Silver Mckenzie Dark wash Jean*

Employee
'Why were you returning the first pair?'

Stupid Customer
'Because they didn't fit right.'

Employee
'You know, you are essentially exchanging the same pair of jeans just a different wash.'

Stupid Customer
'I don't think so.'

Employee
'You are.'

Stupid Customer
'Whatever.'

Employee
*Does exchange* 'Hope these ones work out for you this time.'

Stupid Customer
'THEY WILL THANKS.'

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Stupid Hotel Customer 2

Stupid Customer
'I’m looking for a room for tonight. Just one person, one bed.'

Employee
'I have a queen bed available, it’s a smoking room…'

Stupid Customer
'I don’t want a smoking room.'

Employee
'It’s all I have.'

Stupid Customer
'What kind of place doesn’t sell non-smoking rooms?'

Employee
'No no no we sell non smoking rooms but I don’t have any tonight.'

Stupid Customer
'Okay, i’ll just deal with that.'

Employee
'I have that at 124 plus tax.'

Stupid Customer
'I’m not paying 124. I’m not going for the football game i’m just going for work.'

Employee
'That’s the best rate I can offer this weekend and that is a discounted rate.'

Stupid Customer
'But i’m not going for the football game I don’t care about the game.'

Employee
'Well that’s fine but the rate is still going to be 124.'

Stupid Customer
'Buddy you’re not selling any rooms at that price.'

Employee
'I have 8 left, I think i’m doing ok.'

The Stupid Customer hangs up.

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Stupid Retail Customer 33

Employee is processing the Stupid Customers items through the till.

Stupid Customer
'Wait, wait...I've forgotten my voucher.'

Employee
'Okay...'

Stupid Customer
'Well, can I pay for all this now, come back another day with the voucher and refund me the difference?'

Employee
'Sorry, vouchers are not refundable.'

Stupid Customer
'But your manager said we can work this out the other day.'

Employee
'No, sorry you would have to come back later with the voucher, if you want to purchase all this today.'

Stupid Customer (Angry)
'Oh really!? So you are organising my day for me now are you?!'

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Stupid Retail Customer 31

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me do you sell gift vouchers?'

Employee
'Yes we do madame.'

Stupid Customer
'Fantastic, and can male and females use them. Or is it just females?'


Employee (puzzled)
'Erm...yes both!'

Stiupid Customer
Excellent, I'll have £40 worth please!'

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Stupid Retail Customer 26

The Stupid Customer approaches the till with a T-shirt and the employee puts it through the till.

Employee
'Thats £19.99 then please'

Stupid Customer
'Cool...!'

The Stupid Customer hands over the money, the employee puts it in the till then bags up the T-shirt. Whilst the Stupid Customer walks out the shop, leaving the item she just paid for behind.

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Stupid Grocery Customer 2

Employee
'Will you need to buy any bags with your order?'

Stupid Customer
'No.'

*at the end of her order*
Employee
'And you'll be okay carrying that all out without a bag..?'

Stupid Customer
'Yes.'

Employee
'Okay! Here's your receipt, Thank you so much and have a good weekend.'

Stupid Customer
'Can I have a bag?'

Employee
'.... Umm yeah, sure...'

Stupid Customer
'Am I supposed to give you change or what?'

Employee
'Well, don't worry about it this time It's just 5 cents, just remember for next time, I'm supposed to charge you.'

Stupid Customer
'You don't have to be so RUDE about it. I didn't know you charged.'

Employee
'I'm sorry? I didn't mean to come off rude, I just mean I did ask you a couple times so just remember for next time :) Have a good day!'

The Stupid Customer storms to the end of the till and starts digging around in her purse, speaking angrily to her daughter beside her

Stupid Customer
'We can go home in a minute- She wants me to give her money.'

Employee
'No...Ma'am, please don't worry about it'

Stupid Customer proceeds to now throw five pennies at employee

Employee
'Ma'am you don't need to hurl your change at me, I meant it when I said you could have the bag for free.'

Stupid Customer
'That's it, I want to speak to your manager, you are disgustingly rude!'


Submitted by;
@noisenkisses

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Stupid Bank Customer 1

Stupid Customer approaches the Bureau De Change counter to change his money.

Stupid Customer 
'Hi, I would like to change over this money please.'

Employee
'Sorry, but this money is Disneyland Money'

Stupid Customer 
'I know this, I would just like that its back in pounds please.'

Employee
'I am sorry but we are not able to this.'

Stupid Customer 
'Why?'

Employee 
'Because this is not legal tender.'

Stupid Customer 
'But I was able to use this in the theme park!'

Employee
'Exactly sir, its only to be used there. Not legal currency for anywhere else.'

Stupid Customer 
'Well this is stupid!'

Stupid Customer leaves

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Stupid Travel Agent Customer 3

Stupid customer returned from his vacation after booking six months previously. He visited the travel agency asking for a full refund, and compensation.

Whilst on holiday it had rained continuously, so he enquired why he was not informed that it was going to rain whilst he was on holiday at the time of booking.

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Stupid Travel Agent Customer 1

Stupid elderly couple had been in Italy for 2 days on a 7 day vacation.

The couple had already ran out of money, they phone the employee directly. Asking the employee to fly out to meet them, with some money and then they would pay back the employee the following month.

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