Stupid Retail Customer 33

Employee is processing the Stupid Customers items through the till.

Stupid Customer
'Wait, wait...I've forgotten my voucher.'

Employee
'Okay...'

Stupid Customer
'Well, can I pay for all this now, come back another day with the voucher and refund me the difference?'

Employee
'Sorry, vouchers are not refundable.'

Stupid Customer
'But your manager said we can work this out the other day.'

Employee
'No, sorry you would have to come back later with the voucher, if you want to purchase all this today.'

Stupid Customer (Angry)
'Oh really!? So you are organising my day for me now are you?!'

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Stupid Retail Customer 32

Stupid Customer walks into the shop and approaches the counter.

Stupid Customer
'Good morning, may I have look around your shop?'

Employee
'Certainly madam, we are a shop after all'


Submitted by;
Theresa Hargreaves

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Stupid Shoe Shop Customer 4

Stupid Customer
'Hi, can I get these shoes in a size 10 please?'

Employee
'Sure, of course. do you want to try them on?'

Stupid Customer
'Oh, I'm French.'

Employee
'Erm okay, would you like to try the shoes on?'

Stupid Customer
'I'm French.'

Employee
'Yes...but would you like to try those shoes on?'

Stupid Customer
'Yes.'


Submitted by;
Lauren Potts

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Stupid Retail Customer 31

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me do you sell gift vouchers?'

Employee
'Yes we do madame.'

Stupid Customer
'Fantastic, and can male and females use them. Or is it just females?'


Employee (puzzled)
'Erm...yes both!'

Stiupid Customer
Excellent, I'll have £40 worth please!'

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Stupid Pub Customer 8

Stupid Customer approaches the bar, having previously drank a couple of Pinot spritzers. 

Stupid Customer
'May I have a small glass of Pinot please.'

Employee

'Would you like that as a spritzer, madame?'

Stupid Customer

'No, just as it is.'

After the Stupid Customer receives her 175ml glass of Pinot.

Stupid Customer

'Oh, can I have this in a bigger glass with some ice and soda?'

Employee

'So you want a spritzer then, like I said'

Stupid Customer

'Oh, go on then'

Submitted by;

Thomas Greenway

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Stupid Camping Customer 2

Stupid Customer
'Hi there, I'm looking to purchase a compass'

The employee takes the Stupid Customer to the selection of compasses.


Stupid Customer
'Thank you, now...how do you actually work them?

Employee
'Well the arrow always points north, like you can see here...'

Interrupting Stupid Customer
'But where are we on the compass?'

Employee
'No no, it just shows you where North is....see look.'

Stupid Customer
'But, I want the compass that shows you where I am!'

Employee explains that the compass can't show this, then goes on futher to suggest she needs a GPS Reader. The Stupid Customer is determined she needs a compass and storms out the shop.



Submitted by;
Adrian Mortimer

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Stupid Retail Customer 30

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me, what waist size would these jogging bottoms be?'

Employee
'These are a Large so about a 34" waist sir.'

Stupid Customer
'Excellent, I have a 34" waist. So what size would I need?'


Submitted By;
Folarin Fadairo

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Stupid Book Shop Customer 3

**University Book Shop

Stupid (Law Student) Customer
'I'm looking for a book. I don't know the title or the author, but it's got a picture of a ladder on the front. Do pictures come up on your database?'

The employee is stood literally speechless.

The Stupid (Law Student) Customer returns with more information the following day. The book in question actually had a cat on the cover.



Submitted by;
Michael Ritchie

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Stupid Book Shop Customer 2

**University Book Shop

Stupid Customer
'Do you know what books are on my reading list?'

Employee
'We don't carry the actual reading lists here, but we've been selling through, so I might know. What subject is it for?'

Stupid Customer
'I'm not sure. English, I think.'


Submitted by;
Michael Ritchie

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Stupid Book Shop Customer 1

**University Book Shop

Stupid Customer
'Can you do a search on a book for me?'

Employee
'Sure, do you have the title?'

Stupid Customer
'Um, no, but I know the author'

Employee
'Ok, what's his name?'

Stupid Customer
'Jones.'

Employee
'Um right... that's a pretty common name. Do you know what the textbook is on?'

Stupid Customer
'No. Can you not find it?'

Employee
'I can put it in, but it'll give me about a thousand results, so there's little point.'


Submitted by;
Michael Ritchie

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Stupid Retail Customer 29

Stupid Customer 'Whats the biggest size your mens clothes are available in?'

Employee
'They are available in XXL.'

Stupid Customer
'GREAT! Where can I find the section of clothes for these sizes?'

Employee
'There are available throughout the range.'

Stupid Customer 
'Can you show me the XXL's?'

Employee
'Well...there are all over the store'

Stupid Customer
'Oh right....!'

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Stupid Retail Customer 28

Stupid Customer
'Is these the only sizes you have on the shop floor?'

Employee
'No no, we have more sizes in the stock room if needed.'

Stupid Customer
'Oh right... wheres that I'll go have a look.'

Employee
'No....you wait here I'll go look.'

Stupid Customer 
'OH! I get you!'

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Stupid Call Center Customer 4

The employee is trying to troubleshoot a Stupid Customers computer over the phone.

Employee
'Can you press the F8 key for me.'

The Stupid Customer stops talking for about 30 seconds.

Stupid Customer
'How do you spell that?'


Submitted by;
Quinnton Mckinnon

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