Monday, 4 August 2014

Stupid Supermarket Customer 8

The Stupid Customer is at the self service check out, and calls over the employee to replace his multipack of crisps.

Stupid Customer
'This has a tear in it, can you replace it?'

Employee
'We are quite busy, but of course! I'll get someone to pick up a new packet for you.'

The employee gives over the new packet, and notices the original packet had a reduced sticker on the side, due to the tear.

Stupid Customer
'But this packet isn't reduced.'

Employee
'The original packet was reduced because of the tear that you didn't want. Therefore this new packet has no tear.'

Stupid Customer
'I wanted the reduced price, but the other packet wasn't scanning through at full price. That's why I asked you to change it.'

Employee
'But I could have simply keyed in the code for you....'


Friday, 1 August 2014

Stupid Coffee Shop Customer 8

Stupid Customer walks into the coffee shop to place an order.

Employee
'How would like your coffee, in small, medium or large?'

Stupid Customer
'What's the difference?'

Thursday, 31 July 2014

Stupid Travel Agent Customer 7

The Stupid Customer phones up the travel agent to complain about his holiday.

Stupid Customer
'It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallara to close in the afternoons.'

Employee
'Sir, that is how things are done in Mexico, other countries follow the same procedure'

Stupid Customer
'But I often needed to buy things during their 'Siesta' time. This should be banned!'

Wednesday, 30 July 2014

Stupid Call Center Customer 11

Employee
'Thank you for calling the credit card department. How can I help you today?'

Stupid Customer
'Yes, I wanted to see when I will receive my new credit card.'

Employee
'My pleasure, can I ask some security questions to see your application'

The Stupid Customer provides answers to her security questions, and after checking there are no credits in process for the Stupid Customer. Checking further the employee discovers the Stupid Customer has already has a card with the bank and has maxed out the credit card with a £500 limit. 

Employee
'I do see that you already have an account with us. When did you apply for a second card?'

Stupid Customer
'I didn't apply, but I already used all the money from the first card. I was just wondering when you would be another?!'

Tuesday, 29 July 2014

Stupid Coffee Shop Customer 7

Stupid Customer
'This is false advertising! You are LYING to your customers!'

Employee
'I'm sorry, ma'am. What's the problem?'

Stupid Customer
'THIS!'

Stupid Customer slams a half-eaten cake onto the counter

Stupid Customer
'The label says it's German Chocolate cake! I bought it for my book club as part of our International Cuisine week and they tell me it's not from Germany at all!'

Employee
'Erm, yes. German cake is named after the man who created it, Sam German. It has nothing to do with the country.'

Stupid Customer 
'Well, how on earth are customers supposed to know that? Do you have any idea how embarrassed I was by this? I should sue you for emotional distress!'

Monday, 28 July 2014

Friday, 25 July 2014

Stupid Fast Food Customer 3

Stupid Customer
'Can I order, a medium cheeseburger, medium fries and medium drink.'

The employee orders in the meal as the combo option.

Stupid Customer (angry)
'NO! I don't want the stupid combo meal, just a medium drink and medium fry and a cheeseburger!'

Employee
'But that will be the same order as this combo, and in fact would save you money.'

Stupid Customer
'No no NO! I don't want that combo meal!'