Monday, 2 December 2013

Stupid Fast Food Customer 2

Customer approaches the counter, with a confused look on his face.

Employee
'Afternoon, what can I get you'

Stupid Customer
'Hello yes, just an enquiry first. Do you use fake chicken here...?'

Tuesday, 19 March 2013

Stupid Music Shop Customer 2

The employee is restocking the guitars. 

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me can I ask you a question?'

Employee
'Of course you can. It is what I am here for.'

Stupid Customer
'Do your guitars work like real guitars?'

Employee
'What do you mean?'

Stupid Customer
'Are they like real guitars?'
 
Employee
*Looking very confused* 'Well, they have strings like a "real" guitar. They have frets like a "real" guitar. You tune them like a "real" guitar. They are smaller because they are practice guitars but yes, I would like to conclude that they are real guitars.'

Stupid Customer
'Oh that is good!'

The Stupid Customer picks up a guitar, and walks over to the counter to purchase the item.

Monday, 18 March 2013

Stupid Book Shop Customer 5

Stupid Customer
'Hi. I need a threesis.'

Employee
'Pardon, a what??'

Stupid Customer
'You know a threesis. It has other words that mean the same as the word you look up.'

Employee
Oh right…do you mean a thesaurus?'
Stupid Customer 
'No, you idiot!! That’s a dinosaur! I need a threesis!'

Friday, 15 March 2013

Stupid Restaurant Customer 6

Stupid Customer
'How big are your pizzas?'

Employee
'They are 10 inch pizzas, sir.'

Stupid Customer
'Well how big is 10 inches?'

Before the employee can answer the Stupid Customer's wife interrupts.

Stupid Customer's Wife
'You wouldn’t know anything about 10 inches, dear.'

Thursday, 14 March 2013

Stupid Pub Customer 12

Stupid Customer phones up the pub, and the employee answers. 

Stupid customer
'Hi, yeah I was just there at your pub a few minutes ago'

Stupid Customer stops talking, and doesn't carry on his phone call.

Employee
'Ok...and how could I help you?'

Stupid Customer
'I think I left something there. What can I do?'

Stupid Customer stops in silence again.

Employee
'Um...you could come back and get it?'

Stupid Customer 
'Oh ok, thanks'

Stupid Customer hangs up. 

Wednesday, 13 March 2013

Stupid Retail Customer 53

Stupid Customer
(reads employees  name tag) 'Jade. That's a pretty name.'

Employee
'Thank you.'

Stupid Customer
'Where did you get it?'

Tuesday, 12 March 2013

Stupid Cinema Customer 1

The employees are experience a rush of popcorn orders, one employee is in the middle of the Stupid Customers order.

Employee
'Okay, a medium popcorn is £*.**.'

Stupid Customer hand's the employee his money.

Stupid Customer
'Yeah, and would you get the fresh stuff for me?'

Employee
'Ahhh, sure. All of it’s fresh though. We’re putting in batch after batch.'

Stupid Customer
'No, I want the fresh stuff. Don’t fill my bag until the new one is popped.'