Wednesday 30 November 2011

Stupid Pub Customer 7

Stupid Customer
‘Can I have a coke please?’

Employee
‘Coca cola in a bottle or Pepsi on draught?’

Stupid Customer
‘Whats the difference?’

Employee
‘One is coca cola, one is Pepsi’


Submitted by;
Nat Preston

Monday 28 November 2011

Stupid Retail Customer 23

Employee is finishing her shift at work in a department store when a Stupid Customer approaches her.

Stupid Customer
‘Excuse me where can I find the free bra?’


Submitted by;
Taylor Tagsold

Friday 25 November 2011

Stupid Retail Customer 22

Employee
‘Hello, do you have our rewards card, which entitles you to money off in store?’

Stupid Customer
‘I'm paying with cash.’

Employee
‘Okay, but do you have our rewards card?’

Stupid Customer
‘I'm paying with cash.’


Submitted by;
Jess Lalonde

Monday 21 November 2011

Stupid Retail Customer 21

Employee is tidying up the store when the stupid customer walks over.

Stupid Customer 
'Excuse me, how much is this hoody it hasn't got a price tag.'

Employee walks over to the rest of the hoodies and tells the stupid customer the price.

Stupid Customer 
'Thank you'

Employee walks back to his task, only to be called over the stupid customer.

Stupid Customer
'Can you get me a large!'

Employee walks back over and finds a large amongst the rail and hands it to the stupid customer. Again the stupid customer says 'thank you' and the employee walks back to his position. Only to be called over for a second time.

Stupid Customer
'Can I get this one in white instead. I can't reach for it up there.'

Employee recaches up for the hoody and passes down one, making sure its a large. This time employee waits expecting for more requests.

Stupid Customer
'Second thoughts, put that white one back. I'm going to stick to my original decision, thank you. And these are all the same price?'

Employee
'Yes'

Stupid Customer
'What about the white one?'

Employee
'Yes'

Stupid Customer
'When do your sales start?'

Employee
'We don't have sales'

Friday 18 November 2011

Stupid Retail Customer 20

Stupid customer is waiting at the till whilst the employee is folding up his purchased coat for him. The employee places the coat into the bag and hands it over to the stupid customer.

Stupid Customer
'Oh wait... no need for a bag and folding it, I'm going to wear the coat straight away.'

Wednesday 16 November 2011

Stupid Retail Customer 19

Stupid Customer requests to purchase a gift voucher.

Employee
'Okay, here is your gift voucher and receipt.'

Stupid Customer 
'Thank you! Also may I have a gift receipt for it!'

Employee (Slightly puzzled)
'Ooookay.. sure!'

Monday 14 November 2011

Stupid Camping Customer 1

Stupid Customer walks into store, is greeted etc, then after a minute or two of browsing storms angrily up to the till.

Stupid Customer
'Where is your flip book with all the tents in?'

Employee 
'Sorry sir, we don't stock tents over the winter, you could try our branch down the road, as they are large enough to stock tents all year round.'

Stupid Customer
'No I was there, and they had a flip book, but there weren't enough tents in it.'

Employee
'Well I'm sorry sir but we dont replenish our camping stock over the winter.'

Stupid Customer
'Well I do...'

*awkward silence*

Employee
'You may need to try another store then...'

Customer leaves in disgust.


Submitted by;
Josephine Atkinson

Friday 11 November 2011

Stupid Retail Customer 18

Stupid customer approaches the till to purchase a pair of shorts.

Employee
'That will be £44.99 please sir'

Stupid Customer 
'Mate, any chance of some discount on these shorts?'

Employee
'Sorry, we can't offer discount. Plus we don't do in store sales.

Stupid Customer
'But your colleague told me this was the last pair and your not getting anymore in, ands it not even summer now!. They're out of season. Come on mate!'

Monday 7 November 2011

Stupid Hotel Customer 1

The stupid customer is at the hotel reception complaining that the shower head in his room is not detachable.

Employee
'Yes sir, is that going to be a problem?'

Stupid Customer
'Well of course it's going to be a problem - my wife's on her period, how's she going to clean her vagina?'


Submitted by;
Thomas Greenway

Friday 4 November 2011

Stupid Retail Customer 17

Stupid Customer
'My son needs a thes.. theaur...'
(looks at son)
'Honey, what kind of book?'

Stupid Customers Son
'A thesaurus.'

Stupid Customer: 
'Do you have a section for dinosaur books?'

Employee
'Ma'am, a thesaurus is not a dinosaur. Follow me, I'll take you to juvenile reference.'


Submitted by;
KP