Friday 30 September 2011

Stupid Bank Customer 1

Stupid Customer approaches the Bureau De Change counter to change his money.

Stupid Customer 
'Hi, I would like to change over this money please.'

Employee
'Sorry, but this money is Disneyland Money'

Stupid Customer 
'I know this, I would just like that its back in pounds please.'

Employee
'I am sorry but we are not able to this.'

Stupid Customer 
'Why?'

Employee 
'Because this is not legal tender.'

Stupid Customer 
'But I was able to use this in the theme park!'

Employee
'Exactly sir, its only to be used there. Not legal currency for anywhere else.'

Stupid Customer 
'Well this is stupid!'

Stupid Customer leaves

Wednesday 28 September 2011

Stupid Retail Customer 10

Stupid Customer approaches Employee and enquires about a T-shirt.

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me, I am purchasing this T-shirt for my husband. However he is outside, could you come with me to show it to him...?'

Employee
'Sorry, I'm not able to leave the shop floor?'

Stupid Customer 
'Oh really, what about this man?'

Stupid Customer points towards another Employee

Employee 
'Sorry we are not able to leave the shop floor.'

Stupid Customer 
'But my husband is waiting outside with our dog.'

Employee 
'He can come into the precinct, and you can show him the T-shirt at the front of the shop.'

Stupid Customer 
'No, that wont do.'

Stupid Customer leaves the store. 

Monday 26 September 2011

Stupid Grocery Customer 1

Stupid Customer walks up to employee in the supermarket.

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me, it is awfully cold in here. Could you get the fridges turned down...?!'

Friday 23 September 2011

Stupid Call Center Customer 2

Employee
'Thank you for choosing [company], Technical Support, can I get your phone number please?'

Stupid Customer
'I don't have one.. I just got out of jail, and had some questions.'

Employee
'OK.. do you have any other services with us, though?'

Stupid Customer
'No, I don't... but listen...'

Employee
'Ok.'

Stupid Customer
Do you guys offer this um.. 'Sirius' radio? And what is that?

Employee
'Sir, that's a satellite radio service... and completely irrelevant to this company. If you'd like, I can transfer you to another department who can set you up with our services and become a customer. If not, I'll have to end this call.'

Stupid Customer
'Whoa there... You stay & listen to me, or else bad things could happen...'

Employee
'Was that a threat?'

Stupid Customer
'Just... listen'

Employee 
'As I said before, I can transfer you to someone who can sign you up if you want, or if you have questions only about [company]'s services, but I have no other information to give you.'

Stupid Customer hangs up.


Submitted by:
Paolo Faieta

Wednesday 21 September 2011

Stupid Call Center Customer 1

Employee
'
Thank you for choosing [company], Technical Support, can I get your phone number please?'

Stupid Customer reads out their phone number

Employee
'OK.. here's your account. I'm going to need your date of birth and postal code to authorize you.'

Stupid Customer
'
*SIGH* I told them this already, but I'm not going to give my date of birth... that's private information.'

Employee
'umm.. Alright sir, but from my standpoint that's the only way I can grant access to your account. If you want, I can get you to [department] to authorize you with other info.'

The Stupid Customer hangs up.


Submitted by:
Paolo Faieta

Monday 19 September 2011

Stupid Pub Customer 6

Stupid Customers
'can I have a burger without garlic?'

Employee
'I'm afraid the burger mix is already pre made and garlic is in it'

Stupid Customer
'Oh.. Can you not extract the little garlic bits?'

Friday 16 September 2011

Stupid Pub Customer 5

Employee
'How was your fish pie sir?'

Stupid Customer
'I didnt like it at all. I didn't realize it had fish in it and I don't eat fish'

Thursday 15 September 2011

Stupid Retail Customer 9

The shop are supplying special limited edition T-shirts made for the World Cup. The Stupid Customer approaches the employee holding the T-shirt designed to represent the England team.

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me, what does the '66 mean on the back of this T-shirt'

Employee 
'Thats a limited edition World Cup T-shirt, and this is the England one. Of course that is the year England actually won the World Cup'

Stupid Customer 
'Oh right....Can I change the number on the back?'

Wednesday 14 September 2011

Stupid Retail Customer 8

A Stupid FOREIGN Customer approaches the employee holding a shoe. And asks for a size in attempt at English.

Stupid FOREIGN Customer 
'Can I try this shoe in a half past 4?

Tuesday 13 September 2011

Stupid Retail Customer 7

Stupid customer and daughter ask for assistance from an employee.

Stupid Customer
'Excuse me, I can't seem to find any XXL's in this polo on that rail'

Employee looks up and spots one right away.

Stupid Customer
'How did you find that size so quickly?'

Employee
'It says the size right here in the label, and I could clearly see it from where I was standing.

Stupid Customer
'Oh okay... also do you have any T-shirts that are light weight thin material for the summer'

Employee
'No.. unfortunately all our T-shirts are quite a standard thickness of cotton.'

Stupid Customer
'But my husband bought one last year, it was perfect.'

Employee 
'No sorry, we don't stock that material for our T-shirts.'

Stupid Customer 
'Oh wait! There they are....!'

Stupid Customer and daughter walk over and start looking through the button down short sleeved shirts.

Wednesday 7 September 2011

Stupid Retail Customer 6

Stupid customer approaches employee holding a pair of shorts in a size SMALL


Stupid Customer
'Excuse me, are these are these a size 8?'

Employee
'No, that is an 'S' they're a size SMALL'

Monday 5 September 2011

Stupid Pub Customer 4

Stupid Customer
'I would like the rum & raisin ice-cream, but my 3 year old daughter is going to share so could you take the rum out please?'

Saturday 3 September 2011

Stupid Retail Customer 5

Stupid Customer
'I want to buy some wellies, what size do you think I should get?'

Employee
'The size that you are.'

Stupid Customer
'(sounding confused) Oh okay. Do you do them in pink or red?'

Employee
'No, other stores have red ones but we don't have them, sorry.'

Stupid Customer
'Can I try the red ones!?'

Employee
'No...I said before that we don't have them.'

Stupid Customer tries on a size 4, then tries a size 5 also.

Stupid Customer
'Oh wow! The size 5 feels bigger than the size 4!'

Employee
'That's because it is bigger...'

Friday 2 September 2011

Stupid Hair Salon Customer 1

Stupid customer arrives at the hair salon for an appointment. The stupid customer was called blank and had an argument with the stylist because this name wasn't booked in. However, there was a blank booked in for a cut and blow dry, all the while the stupid customer is still arguing about her appointment.

Stupid customer then realises she was actually book in for the following day. She walks out in anger and embarrassment.